The Great Santa Search (Christmas Chronicles) by Jeff Guinn

Author:Jeff Guinn [Guinn, Jeff]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2007-10-18T04:00:00+00:00

I opened the valise and pulled out the red coat and trousers and hat, all with white fur trim. Mr. Sneed yanked them from my hands and inspected them, turning the garments over in his hands to check, I suppose, for worn places.

CHAPTER

Twelve

The months seemed to rush by. I practiced roping with Bill Pickett until we wore out all the lariats at the North Pole. Every day, Theodore directed me through a series of increasingly difficult exercises. At mealtimes, I dined sensibly. Sometime in August, I realized I hadn’t consumed any sugar since the beginning of my training on the morning of January 6, Epiphany. Though I hadn’t lost a pound, I’d gained considerable energy. In all my seventeen centuries, I could not recall feeling better.

During these same months, The Great Santa Search became one of the most talked-about topics in America. Just as Bobbo Butler predicted, his Christmas Eve competition had captured the ongoing attention of the media. As a result, it was virtually impossible for anyone to read a magazine, listen to the radio, or watch television without some daily reminder of FUN-TV’s holiday special on December 24. Most of the coverage resulted from the unceasing efforts of publicists hired by the LastLong Toy Company, but not all of it. A supermarket tabloid revealed that Rick Press, one of the two open-audition winners, was actually wanted by police in Florida for selling “prime beachfront property” to unsuspecting senior citizens. Only after giving him all their money did these unfortunate people discover they owned swampland instead. Immediately, every major television network and print publication began covering “the Santa scandal.” After Press was arrested, Bobbo announced that he could only compete on The Great Santa Search if he was innocent of all criminal charges against him. Instead, Press loudly declared his guilt, adding he had hoped to be voted the “real” Santa on Christmas Eve so he could spend the rest of his life atoning for his crimes by inspiring children to love the holidays. He was then kicked off The Great Santa Search, but within a week signed a publishing contract for a tell-all book, and not long afterward a major network paid him millions for the right to produce a made-for-television movie about his life: From Sinner to Santa. That undoubtedly made the three years he was sentenced to spend in prison easier to endure.

“At least there are nine places available on The Great Santa Search now instead of eight,” Felix reminded me. “That improves your chances of getting selected.”

“I hope you’re joking, Felix,” I said. “Now that I’m going to work as a mall Santa, you’re going to see to it that I’m picked for the program. We’re agreed on that, aren’t we?”

“I haven’t seen you working in a mall yet,” he joked. At least, I hoped he was joking. “If I come to observe and you’re not doing a good job, I might have to leave you off my list. We want only the very best for The Great Santa Search, you know!”

“I’m going to be the best,” I assured him.

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